


If This Feeling Flows Both Ways

by bearylovely



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Charles Xavier Needs a Hug, Charles Xavier has a Ph.D in Adorable, Domestic Fluff, Erik Has Feelings, Erik has Issues, Erik is a Sweetheart, First Kiss, Gay Mutant Road Trip, Gay and Mutant in the 1960s, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:22:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24317251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearylovely/pseuds/bearylovely
Summary: Title based off of 'Do I Wanna Know?' by Arctic MonkeysSlown burn that takes place throughout First Class and revolves around the unseen moments between Charles and Erik as they figure out how hopelessly in love they both are.
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier, Hank McCoy/Raven | Mystique
Comments: 14
Kudos: 53





	1. On the Road

**Author's Note:**

> wow so cherik has like a major uptick during quarentine and I hope y'all are reading as much fanfic as me because I really love this and have so many ideas for where it can go. first fic in this fandom, and i gotta say, i've been rewatching the movie over and over again to hopefully get the canon right. 
> 
> no beta, so sorry if there's mistakes :(

It had been a hell of a time getting the CIA to let them go recruiting on their own. Luckily, they had both the power of persuasion, and a telepath, on their side. The first few weeks went by quickly, hopping from town to town in a dusty red truck that Charles swore Erik had fallen in love with at first sight. So far, only about three people had signed on. While a light persuasion might have worked on the CIA, it was infinitely more morally sound to give everyone else the freedom of choice.  
Charles made an exasperated noise, placing his watch on the side table. They had reached out to two mutants in this town, and it seemed that neither of them were going to take up the offer. Erik had beelined towards the shower, letting Charles have his space for some well deserved brooding. He leaned back on the bed, closing his eyes. The world was too loud, all the time. He needed a break, but now wasn’t the time. Maybe someday when all of this was over, he could take a vacation somewhere exotic. Somewhere with nice beaches, far away.  
He wondered if Erik would ever want to go with him. It might be odd to invite him on a vacation, but he had become a beacon of hope for Charles on their trip so far. His sort of pessimistic nihilism was refreshingly different from Charles’ usual undying optimism. Sometimes he needed someone to ground him, though lately their roles had felt reversed. Charles was the one chiding Erik at their losses.  
It was then that he noticed there was only one bed. They had been in such a rush to get settled that it hadn’t occurred to him. He gripped at the sheets lightly, trying to focus on something concrete. He didn’t often have a temper, but this entire trip was starting to get on his nerves. Not that he would ever let that show around any of the mutants they tried to recruit.  
Before his thoughts could get the better of him, Erik emerged from the bathroom, holding his previous clothes in a small bundle. Charles sat up, rubbing his temples as Erik put his clothes back in his duffle bag. 

“Where are we off to tomorrow?” Erik plopped down on the opposite side of the bed, flipping through a magazine. 

“Helena, Montana” 

“How far?” Erik absentmindedly flipped through the pages, most of them were advertisements or unknown models. 

“I don’t know” Charles gave an irritated sigh. 

Erik looked over, taking in how tired Charles looked. He had a right to be crabby, Erik couldn’t image having to use his abilities all day everyday for this long. It would be downright exhausting. He moved closer, patting Chales’ back. Subconsciously, Charles pushed into the touch. It was odd not having Raven around. She was so affectionate. He realized for the first time since they had left, that he missed her terribly.  
He turned over to look at Erik, who still had his hand on his back, stroking small circles. His focus was on an article about a new type of cars. Charles quietly studied Erik’s form, the ease with which he sat back and the line of his jaw in concentration. It was enthralling. He traced the outline of Erik’s body on the bed with his eyes, taking in the silence of the room as a small comfort. After a moment, Erik felt eyes barreling into his skull and turned to face Charles. 

“Have you thought any more about dinner?” Erik continued rubbing small circles, to which Charles was practically purring like a cat. 

“Room service sounds divine” Charles mumbled, letting his head fall back on the wooden bedframe.

“Would you like me to call down?” Erik eyed the very sleepy looking Charles, knowing that he was no longer spiraling. 

“Yes, darling, that would be fantastic” Charles mumbled, running a hand over his face. 

Erik picked up the phone, taking his hand off of Charles’ back. Charles whimpered lightly at the loss. He was too tired to hide how starved of attention he had become on their trip. Raven was constantly wrapping herself around him in one way or another, it was comforting. There was a difference with Erik though. He always felt special when Erik touched him, however slight. Raven was like that with everyone. Lately Hank had been taking most of her attention away. Even if he were home, he would likely still feel the same.  
When Erik had finished ordering, he went back to reading. He flipped the pages slowly, his full attention on whatever features were included in this new model of car. Charles tried to read over his shoulder, scooting closer to get a good look, but it was no use. For someone who had read hundreds of academic papers, the intricate detailing of an automobile bored him. He was content to rest his head on Erik’s shoulder and listen to his breathing.  
Erik was not an affectionate person. The act of something so soft was weak. He was made to be a soldier, but just like the rest of his defenses, it seemed that Charles was slowly breaking that away too. He moved his shoulder to make it more comfortable for Charles’ head, wrapping his arm around to touch Charles’ side gently.  
Only about fifthteen minutes after Charles had fallen asleep wrapped around Erik, there was a knock at the door. Erik ran a hand through Charles’ hair, moving away to get their food. He pulled the cart inside fully before turning to motion towards the door, it closed and locked on it’s own. Charles smiled. That never got old. He could sit and watch Erik do menial tasks with his power for hours and never bore of it. 

“I got you the fish” Erik placed a small plate in front of Charles. 

“Thank you” Charles nodded, he had been starving for half the afternoon. 

Before he could speak up for utensils, Erik turned and motioned for a small set to float towards Charles as he set up his own meal. They ate in silence. Tomorrow they would have plenty to talk about. Long drives gave them each the confidence to indulge things they wouldn’t normally. So far Charles had told the story of how he had once convinced Raven that the world was the shape of a candy until she was sixteen. While on the opposite side of the spectrum, Erik had told a detailed account of the horrors he saw in Germany. Either way, their conversations were lively.  
Erik finished, standing up to take his plate back to the small cart they were given. He leaned over the bed, reaching for Charles’ empty plate as well. All of their silverware made it’s way back on to the cart and Charles watched in wonder. 

“Fancy a game of chess?”

“Not tonight” Erik smiled politely, returning to his side of the bed. 

He thought about that for a moment. His side. Funny how often things were beginning to line up just right. How he normally took that side, and Charles happened to sleep on the other. A small part of him wondered if it was purely coincidental or not.  
Charles walked over to his suit case, pulling out some more comfortable clothes and making his way towards the bathroom. The mirror was still slightly fogged from Erik’s shower earlier. He tried not to dwell on that thought. He had a habit of accidentally poking around in Erik’s head. Nothing that Erik wouldn’t mind sharing, hopefully. He tells himself it’s just like how he used to watch Raven closely when it came to buy her birthday present. It was purely surface level. Though Erik was mostly an open book, and Charles doubted he would get very far if he really tried to see any further. Erik had become rather privy to feeling the telepath in his head.  
He exited the bathroom, finding Erik now moving a couple of coins in between his fingers. It had become routine to see Erik practising, though he wouldn’t call it that. Erik had perfect control. He suspected it had something to do with the intricacies of the coins. Maybe one say he would get the courage to ask him how it feels, stop scratching the surface and jump in completely.

“It’s getting late” Charles yawned, looking around the room quickly before pulling the comforter back on his side of the bed. 

“That it is” Erik sets the coins down on his nightstand, moving to pull back the comforter as well. 

“Goodnight” Charles leans over to put out his lamp. 

Before Charles can pull the string on his lamp, Erik snaps and the lights flash off.

“Spectacular” Charles mumbles and Erik pretends not to hear it. 

“Goodnight” Erik rolls onto his side, facing away from Charles. 

Charles is the one to wake up in the middle of the night, realizing that Erik’s arm is draped over him. His sleepy mind leans into the touch, moving to flush his back against Erik’s chest. He doesn’t dare move any more than that. He falls back asleep the most sound he has the entire trip.  
It’s probably two hours later that Charles wakes up again, this time more irritated, as the entire bed is shaking. It takes him a moment to realize that it’s Erik. As much as he loves seeing the other use his abilities, it’s not preferred to feel them like this. He pushes lightly at Erik’s mind, feeling the grips of a nightmare. He breaths out deeply, forcing himself to not push any further. Instead, he shakes Erik awake gently.  
The shaking stops immediately, as Erik’s bleary eyes open to see Charles there. He absently pulls Charles closer before drifting off again, this time nightmare free. The rest of the night goes on without incident, and Charles wonders how many times that has happened and he never noticed. It hurts him a little more than he thinks it should for someone he’s only known for a couple of months, but he knows more about Erik than he knows about some of the people he’s known his entire life. All of it stems from the night they met, Charles couldn’t help but look as deep as he could. There was something telling him to keep looking and never stop. He drifted off to sleep with thoughts of Erik in his mind, and he would be lying to himself if he said it was the first time. 

They wake up to the call Charles put in at the front desk. Erik shuts off the phone without thinking and Charles grumbles at him. Erik goes to move his arm, finding it already draped over Charles chest. His chin is tucked into Charles’ hair, he has to pull away slowly to keep himself from staying there. 

“Sorry” is mumbled as he gets up. 

“Don’t be” Charles waves him off, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

They get breakfast at the buffett in the lounge of the hotel, talk a bit about where they’re going and routes. Erik usually does the driving, he has a finesse when it comes to large metal cars. It makes him feel at home, when he’s never really had a home before. He’s still trying to figure out if that’s really the car though.  
After breakfast, they start on the drive. The road is empty and the summer heat beats down on them through rolled down windows. Charles feels a repreve from the noise. It’s only him and Erik for miles. He can feel the sun heating his undershirt, it never was a good idea for them to wear suits everywhere. They won’t arrive for awhile, so he takes off the suit jacket, rolling up his sleeves as well.  
Erik quickly glances over at Charles, not long enough to fully comprehend that he’s now turning to sit against the door with his feet nearing closer to Erik’s lap. 

“What’s the best thing you’ve ever done?” Charles crosses his arms, kicking off his shoes onto the floor of the car. 

“I haven’t done a lot of good in my life, I’m afraid” Erik, as much as he opposes, does enjoy Charles’ icebreakers. 

“I would have to disagree. Now answer the question, what’s the best thing you’ve ever done?” He asks the question lower this time, tentatively.

Erik takes a minute to think. He rolls through a laundry list of memories that come to the forefront of his mind. All of them involve trauma, trauma that he isn’t ready to convey to anyone, let alone Charles. The answer comes to him quickly, simply. 

“I stayed” Erik turns to see Charles fully now, realizing just how much has happened in the couple of minutes they’ve been on the road. 

“And now you’re here. How curious” Charles smirks, breaking eye contact with Erik to look back out at the road, his arm proped up on the dash. 

They swap stories and go back and forth for the rest of the ride, finding an innocuous motel when they arrive. Per usual, Erik takes a shower while Charles searches for who they’re looking for. Tonight she’s finishing her shift at the dinner, which will be their first stop the next morning. Erik walks out with a towel around his waist, grabbing a bundle of clothes from his bag and disappearing back into the bathroom. Unfortunately there’s two beds tonight.


	2. Back Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're back at the mansion now and about to do some totally not gay shit.

The lavish rooms spread on for what felt like ages. Erik followed cautiously, acutely aware of the stone comprising the walls. As opposed to a normal house, there was less metal running throughout. He felt strangely out of place, for the first time he had in his time with Charles. They neared a narrowing stairway with red carpet lining the wooden flooring. Erik kicked off his shoes, looking up the stairwell as Charles continued on, shoes and all. He swore that Charles chuckled at that. He was only trying to be polite. It felt childish to be ashamed of something so small.  
He followed Charles down a large hallway where another stairwell rounded, this time only going down. Charles stopped in front of a small room right before the stairs. He motioned for Erik to open the door, to which Erik obliged, flinging it open without a touch. Charles did let out a light chuckle at that. The room was small but spacious, hardly decorated. The bed was covered in linens and satin sheets with more pillows than Erik could have ever imagined wanting on a bed.

“This is your room” Charles stated the obvious, sitting at one of the chairs facing the window overlooking the entirety of the grounds.

Erik pushed open the door in the corner, surprised to find a bathroom. It was pure white, like the rest of the room. Seeing a clawfoot tub sat in the back, he scoffed. This was better than any of the shitty hotels he was used to staying at with Charles. He set down his bag on the bed, sitting opposite Charles and looking out the window.

“Wow” is all that escaped his lips.

“If you need anything, I’ll be helping everyone else get settled. I can hear Raven trying to get Hank into the room next to hers right now” Charles got up, laughing lightly.

Charles barely got to the threshold of the doorway when something snapped him back.

“I could show you around tomorrow morning if you’d like” his hand rested on the doorframe as he peeked into the room.

Erik nodded and turned back to the window. It was a gorgeous view. The estate seemed to stretch on forever, rolling hills and vast tress spotting the landscape. It was reminiscent of upraised paintings. He had seen views similar, years of travel had given him that. What was new, however, was the calm emanating from it. For once, there was no anger behind his eyes. His goal still remained, but he couldn’t help to imagine waking up to this view every morning.  
He pulled out a book from his bag, a small german poetry book, and read until he heard a knock on the door some hours later. Raven opened it without hearing a reply, peeking her head inside.

“Dinner’s ready” she smiled, turning back the way she had came.

Erik looked back out at the view. It was somehow more serene at night. The lull of distant voices within the walls was calming, providing some much needed levity to the uncomfortable silence. After what had happened at the CIA, they all needed some comradery. He left his book sitting on his chair, and began down the hallway. It would be easy to get lost in a house as big. Which is probably why he did. After a couple of minutes of aimless wandering and unnecessary stairs, he stopped trying. There was always the easy way out, which was to find Charles’ wristwatch and work backwards from there, but he didn’t feel inclined to. Perhaps because he knew that getting lost would provide him with something slightly better than a warm dinner. He bounded another stairwell covered in red carpeting.  
A moment later, he felt that familiar wave of affection within his mind. It always seemed to float in, like a summertime draft. It was cooling and kind, a sort of reaffirming he didn’t often get to feel on him own. There was no doubt who it was, or why it was there. He smiled softly, looking out a large stained glass window.

 _Do you have any idea where you are?_ Charles’ voice laughed into his subconscious.

“No clue” Erik had yet to figure out how to project thoughts, so talking out loud was the best he had come up with. It seemed to work fine enough for Charles.

_Somehow you managed to get yourself into the west wing. Come back down the stairs to your right and follow the garden outside until you get to the porch, there might still be some food left when you get here._

Erik laughed, finding his way down the stairs and out to the garden. It was completely dark outside now, the only thing guiding him was Charles’ gentle nudges. He found that the affectionate haze had not left his mind until he arrived on the porch a little dazed.  
Only Charles, Raven, and Sean were sitting at the small outdoor table. Charles smiled and nodded at Erik, letting the hand drop from his temple.

“Took you long enough” Raven scoffed, throwing a napkin in her bowl and disappearing inside.

Sean did the same, but without the same flare of Raven. He nodded politely to Charles and went back up to his room after emptying his bowl in the kitchen sink. Alex had promised to play poker with him. Not that Charles knew that, but he knew that. Maybe everyone else was just thinking too loud tonight.

“You’ve hardly eaten” Erik sat across from Charles, where a bowl of what looked to be some sort of stew was sitting out.

“I was busy helping someone find their way” Charles picked up a spoon, admiring the gray sludge tentatively.

“It’s a lovely home to get lost in” Erik chirped, still stuck in the daze of Charles’ affectionate mind rattling around inside his.

Charles lowered his spoon and looked directly back at Erik, who was now quietly trying to finish the stew as fast as possible. For a moment he wondered if Erik could feel his emotions while he was guiding him. Surely he would say something if he could. Perhaps he would have to test it sometime, see if that really were the case. For now though, he was content with watching.  
Erik stopped eating to recline in his chair and look back at Charles. Neither of them wanted to really look away, and so the moment dragged on. Erik’s mind was filled with compassion, more importantly, trust. Out of all of the attributes beat into him, he always found that trust was the hardest to chip away at. No matter how long he had known someone, he never fully trusted them. He had tried for years to find someone, anyone, but it was no use. This was different though, as it had been from the beginning. Suddenly, he wasn’t alone anymore.  
Charle’s mind, however, was filled with intrigue. He had never met someone so powerful. Never in a million years did he dream of getting to find other mutants, let alone start off with finding one so fascinating. It was thrilling, to put all of his academia to use in the area he was most passionate. His friendship with Erik was something he had never had before. Most of his friends were superficial at best, and reading them was much easier than reading Erik. It was a challenge to get through to him, but a challenge he was willing to face.  
Erik’s gaze broke away first, going from just looking at Charles’ eyes to actually looking at him. There was a big difference. He sat lopsided in his chair, leaning precariously towards Erik, as if grasping to be closer. His head rested on an arm that was propped up on the table. He moved his gaze back up to Charles’ face, stubble becoming more apparent after the stress of the past few days. He couldn’t bring himself to look back at Charles’ eyes, worried he might find something judgmental if he did. Instead, he went back to his food and flicked a hand towards Charles’ bowl to move it closer to the edge of the table.

“Eat” Erik barked.

Charles did as instructed, still intrigued by the man sitting only a few feet away. As he finished his meal, possibilities rattled through his mind. Erik could tear the entire house apart, rain fury down on everything he held dear, yet he was sitting on the porch eating a poor rendition of his mother’s stew. Since his first attempt, Erik had made no move to leave, no slight inclination or passing remark. He seemed to be just as intrigued as Charles when it came to their friendship. Charles shook the thought away, finishing his dinner and motioning for Erik’s bowl.  
Erik simply picked up both of them and followed Charles to the kitchen, bowls floating in tow. They landed lightly in the sink, making a small clink against the other bowls.

“Fancy a game?” Charles pressed lightly at Erik’s subconscious, trying to see if the other man might notice.

Having someone else in his head had made Erik uncomfortable. His secrets were his to tell, so of course he had hated Charles’ ability at first. After weeks of soothing sleep on their road trip, he had gotten used to the affectionate nature of Charles’ telepathy. It had lulled him to sleep more often than not. Now the gentle pull of it along the surface of his memories was kind, a compassionate guiding hand. He unconsciously leaned into the touch, even though they were feet apart.

“I would enjoy that”

Charles smiled, leading the way to Erik’s room. Erik followed like a stray dog, desperate and wide eyed. During their short walk, Charles peered into some of Erik’s better memories. His aspirations outside of mutants or Shaw. He wondered if any of them would ever come to fruition. He hoped they would, for both their sake.  
They reached Erik’s room almost too soon, and Charles subsided back into his own mind. Erik sighed at the loss, knowing that their unspoken moment was now over. A part of him wanted to know what Charles had seen, but decided it best not to ask, he didn’t want to know.  
Charles got to settling up the board on the small table between the two chairs at the end of Erik’s bed, while Erik lounged in the same one he had sat in earlier.

“What’s your limit?” Erik sat back in his chair, looking out the window into the dark.

“Depends on what you’re talking about” Charles scoffed, leaning over to place Erik’s king and queen on the board.

“Your powers. How far can you go?”

“As far as I’d like” Charles shrugged, noncommittal.

“Show me” Erik turned to look Charles in the eyes.

“What?” Charles smiled, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Show me how far you can go” He sat straight up in his chair.

“Erik I-”

“Do it” he spit the words out.

Erik blinked, although it felt a bit slower, and looked around the room. Nothing had changed, only now Charles looked a bit out of breath and yet relaxed. Then it hit him, fast and wholly intoxicating. The affection. It pouring into his mind so gentle and yet all at once. This time it didn’t seem to end as Erik looked around the room, his eyes stuck to Charles, who was fidgeting in his seat, obviously slightly uncomfortable.

“What is it?” Erik tilted his head to try and catch Charles’ eyes.

“You’re asleep in the chair right now” Charles tapped his fingers along the side of the couch, as if impatient.

“This is all in my mind?”

“Yes, my friend, and unfortunately I’ve seen a great deal else of your mind as well”

The hazy glow of warmth around Erik’s mind was enough for him to not question Charles’ words. Instead he closed his eyes and basked in the heat, the attention, and waited for Charles to pull back. Safety. It eminated from every part of this, from every part of Charles. He couldn't help but trust him, it came naturally when someone could see every part of him and still have some level of respect. The glow was enough to make his woozy, like he could either fall asleep or throw up and it would be fine either way. It felt like a constant state of nervous energy, precarious and yet, beautiful.

“You like it, don’t you?” Charles laughed, looking over at him a bit accusingly.

“Almost as much as you like watching me throw around loose change” Erik’s smile faded as he opened his eyes to glare at Charles.

“Sorry, I just, I’ve never seen anyone react in such a way. So that’s how you know that I’m in your head then?”

“Yes” Erik ducked his head, a bit embarrassed.

“Remarkable” Charles looked far more intrigued and interested than Erik was ready for, but he hadn’t pulled away yet, he was still in Erik’s subconscious with him. “So it’s enjoyable for you?”

“Yes” Erik retreated further back into his chair, a deep blush creeping it’s way onto his face.

“Could you move something?” Charles seemed to have realized something, sitting back and smiling lightly to himself.

“What?” Erik shot a confused gaze his direction, but Charles waved it off.

“Move something, with your powers”

Erik felt around the room, there was nothing of much use. Charles produced a couple of coins from his pocket, to which Erik gladly grabbed. They danced around the room, flying through the air with precision. Halfway through his ariel show, Erik felt his heart skip and another wave of something calming and yet exhilarating pass through him. The coins dropped loudly onto the untouched chess board.

“I suspected as much” Charles muttered.

“What…” Erik wasn’t sure how to finish his sentence. Was he asking why he had dropped it or why he felt nauseous with new emotions.

“I’m projecting onto you” Charles said it casually, or attempted to sound as much.

Before Erik could reply, his body was sent back into the real world with a chill. He felt cold, unguarded. Charles leaned back, looking somewhat relieved.

“It’s your move” Charles nudged at the board.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all liked this, sorry this chapter took so long, I wanted it to be longer and wowie it really is. I appreciate any and all feedback. 
> 
> also, i realized that it kinda feels like the two chapters aren't connected, but they are? idk it'll all come together at the end just wait and see. anyway, thank you for reading!


	3. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gay cuddling

Charles woke up with a start. Someone else’s nightmares had weaved their way into his subconscious for the past three nights. After tonight’s torments, he had no doubts about who it was anymore. The first night he suspected Alex, the second night seemed to lean towards Raven’s childhood night terrors, but tonight, he was certain. It was Erik. He pushed back his duvet, sitting on the edge of his bed. The window indicated that it was now well into the night. 

Erik’s nightmares now were worse than they had been on the road, it was like he was reaching out to Charles subconsciously. Charles sent his affirmations, sliding on his slippers and beginning down the hall. He took his time rounding the stairs on his way. As he approached Erik’s room, the door flew open, an ominous invitation to enter. A little hesitant, Charles walked inside. The curtains were completely open, the dark window becoming more of a mirror in the depths of the night. Erik was lazily sitting with his back on the headboard of his bed, covers pulled up to his chest and staring blankly out the window. 

“Are you alright, my friend?” 

Erik didn’t reply, only nodded his head towards the empty space in his bed. Charles took that as encouragement enough and sat next to Erik with his back flat on the headboard. He fluffed a pillow and placed it under his lower back. 

“Darling, if you’re having trouble sleeping, you know I-” Charles pulled the duvet up around his hips, resting his arms on the fabric with a small sigh. 

“Unfortunately, ‘trouble’ is nothing new. I can handle it” Erik cut in, his voice heavily laden with much needed sleep. 

“Erik. I could feel you shaking the pipes in my room, god forbid what might happen if this continues” 

“I thought you liked when I-” Erik sneered at Charles. 

“Don’t finish that sentence” It was now Charles’ turn to bud in, rubbing his eyes with the backs of his hands. 

A moment of silence washed over them. Erik continued glaring out the large window, all he could see was their faces reflected back. He studied Charles’ face in the near-mirror, watching him space out and look around the room. He seemed...nervous, almost. 

“Did I wake you?” Erik slumped down and looked up at Charles. 

“If the pipes didn’t, then your screaming in my head most certainly did” 

That would be why he seemed so uncomfortable. Erik let out a heavy sigh. His nightmare had included Charles, which would likely be why his mind had reached out towards him. They were back underwater, the night they had met. This time Chares was drowning Erik, a fear he didn’t know he had, had nestled itself so deeply into him that it only manifested in nightmares. Erik shuddered at the thought, hoping Charles didn’t notice. 

“You know that I would never…I couldn’t...I mean I wouldn’t dream of...” Charles meandered around the subject. 

“Hurting me.” Erik finished, making eye contact with Charles for the first time since he had walked into the room. 

“Yes. I would never forgive myself if I ever...hurt you” Charles seemed uncomfortably emotional. 

There was something else odd. After waking up from his nightmares on the road trip, he could feel Charles in his mind, soothing him back to sleep. Now, it was like there was some sort of divide between them. Charles hadn’t been in Erik’s mind since he had put Erik to sleep while they talked in his subconscious. He missed it. A small thought ran through his head, could he get addicted to that feeling? 

Erik wasn’t one to left anything unsaid, though he often did, and knew that he had to break whatever tension was building. 

“The other night...What did you see in my mind?” 

He tried to say it as if the question hadn’t been weighing on him for days now, but it had. When he wasn’t thinking about Charles, he was busy helping the others to train. It encapsulated his thoughts. He needed to know. 

“You think about me quite a lot” Charles mused, “I would call it endearing if it wasn’t all so vulgar. How do you manage to look so stoic while picturing such filth?” 

“Not everyone is a mind reader, Charles. Usually I’m able to keep those thoughts to myself” Erik chided. 

“You don’t seem to mind letting me in” Charles pressed his head back on the headboard, exhaustion overcoming his body. 

“And yet here you are”

_ Here I am.  _ Echoed throughout Erik’s mind, an immediate rush of serotonin and relief came over him. Erik slipped deeper under the covers, moving to make himself comfortable in bed. 

“I like it when you do that” Erik mumbled into a stray pillow. 

“Do what?” Charles laughed. 

_ You mean this?  _

Erik nodded vigorously into the mound of pillows around him. Charles slowly slipped down into the bed. Surely he didn’t need to stay, Erik could sleep soundly on his own, but he wanted to. Leaving now would be more awkward than just staying, even if Raven side-eyed him at breakfast the next morning. 

Feeling Charles move closer, Erik flipped around to put an arm around him. Charles gasped at the immediacy of it, slowly divulging into short giggles. He felt safe with his face buried into Erik’s chest, though a bit warm. He let himself slip into Erik’s subconscious, watching the man physically melt into the bed as he did so. Erik’s entire body seemed to relax, shoulders slouching and eyes closing.

_ You really do like it, don’t you? _

“Surely you know that by now” Charles could feel the strain in Erik’s tired voice. 

_ Darling, you can just think back at me, no need to speak.  _

“I’m afraid you wouldn’t like that” 

_ What’s there not to like? _

“According to you, it’s ‘vulgar’ and ‘filth’” Erik conceded. 

_ Really, darling- _

Charles was cut off by a sudden rush of desire. Erik was attempting to think back at him, and it was overwhelming. Charles’ eyes slammed closed as his arms reached out to grab Erik instinctively. They were packed together on the bed, legs wrapped together in the linens and arms a mess around each other’s torsos. 

_ I like your pet names.  _ Erik thought back, a little lamely. 

A deep flush had overtaken Charles face. The only person able to communicate emotions in such detail was Raven, who had practised with him for years. Somehow, this form of contact, both physically and mentally, was new territory. It felt dangerous, like he might have to turn back at any moment, and yet he wouldn’t dare. 

_ That’s nice, sweetheart.  _

Charles was more prepared for the rush this time, bracing himself against Erik. It only then occurred to him that their chests were flushed together. He pressed them closer, but it didn’t feel like enough. He wouldn’t be satisfied until he were intangible and able to pull himself so close to Erik’s body that he could simply fall inside. For now, the closest thing would be to do the same with his mind. 

_ You don’t mind then? _

_ Mind what, darling? I’m a bit slow this evening.  _

_ You don’t mind seeing all of the...filth in my mind? _

It took a while to think of an answer. Charles wasn’t one for subtlety. Though often times he had a hard time discussing things of a sexual nature. He had seen all of the things Erik had wished throughout their times together, things just barely deeper than the surface, likely to keep Erik from accidentally injecting those thoughts into what Charles would look into after his nightmares. It was smart, in some way, but very surprising. It wasn’t news to Charles, he knew that him and Erik had a different kind of bond, he just didn’t know it was so mutual. 

_ I’m afraid you would see much worse in my own. _

It was Erik’s turn to feel the infectious affection in the air, wafting over him like roses in a florist shop. He had only been in a couple of said shops, but they were each peculiar, as if frozen in time. He felt Charles next to him, and despite how close they already were, wished for more, though he was unsure what else it was that he wanted. It felt so naive, to not know. He was used to being sure, calculated, knowing. This was new. It wasn’t new to be out of control, but new to not hate it. He realized the death grip he had on Charles’ shoulders, but didn’t dare let go. 

Memories of his nightmare resurfaced. It was similar to their current position, except Erik could see Charles’ eyes as he drown him, slow and precise. That was enough to make him pull away, if only slightly. 

_ That isn’t real.  _

Erik sighed. The night was long, filled with both of them sleeplessly taking in as much affection as they could. The morning came too fast, as Charles realized he must have fallen asleep at some point. The giant window was now bright with the morning light. Erik was still sound asleep and wrapped around him. The duvet had been kicked to the floor over the course of the night, leaving the both of them to rely on each other for the majority of their warmth. Not that either of them minded. 

Charles stole a look at the clock, squinting to get a clear view. It was nearly eleven. He practically jumped out of the bed, shaking Erik’s side forcefully as he procured his belongings, which were only his slippers, but felt like the entire world. Erik woke up with a start, looking Charles up and down as he did so. Charles thought it nice that someone would make sure he was okay first, but that wasn’t what he was rushing for. 

“I’m fine. Get up, we’re late”

“For what?” Erik fell back on the bed with a thud, “And stay out of my head”

“Breakfast, and it might do you some good to stop thinking so loudly” Charles threw the door open, disappearing down the hallway. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so the next chapter is the one I'm really dreading because of how long it's going to be, but I'm super excited bc I have a feeling it's actually going to turn out how I was hoping, so we'll see. 
> 
> no beta, so please be patient with me.


	4. Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> super not gay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i still have no beta, so please point out if there are any spelling/grammer mistakes. yes, there will be more chapters, yes i have them plotted out, no it probably wont be soon. that being said, 
> 
> enjoy!

It was well past lunch time. Since training in the mansion, Erik had felt more comfortable with showcasing his abilities in front of the other residents of the household. Previously, he hadn’t cared. But after so much showboating in front of mutants on the road, as Charles had a hard time showcasing his abilities without overstepping, Erik had become a bit jaded when it came to showing off around everyone else.   
Over the past few weeks, things had become easier. Comfort wasn’t an easy feeling for him, it had never been, but he was warming up to the idea. Though a part of his mind was still urging him to push back, pull away from whatever it was that kept him at the mansion. He didn’t need to be weighed down by emotions, especially with Charles, who he had always felt some sort of attraction towards. Sex was never something plaguing his mind, so he knew it wasn’t that. The telepath had seen everything about him, everything he had been through, and yet, he was still there. Something about that intrigued him, made him want to know more about Charles, who was particularly vague when it came to talks of the past. Perhaps with anyone else, Erik might have found it annoying. Transparency was something he valued highly.   
They were walking around the grounds, making way around the large pond. Erik had been thinking on their night together a little less than a week ago. Charles hadn’t stopped being just as friendly, though that only made it harder for Erik to do the same. They had been tip-toeing around whatever it was that had happened. Charles was describing one of his earliest memories of feeding ducks, to which Erik wasn’t particularly listening, as they neared a small bench at the edge of the water. Charles stood to the side of the bench.

“This is my favourite spot” Charles took a moment to look out before sitting at the bench. 

The afternoon sun was bouncing off the pond, sending light streaking across the landscape. Erik had to admit, it was a beautiful view. If not for the giant satellite in the distance, it would be completely unobstructed as well. 

“It’s a view I could get used to” Erik mused, taking a seat next to Charles on the bench. 

Charles nods approvingly, not mentioning the underlying meaning behind Erik’s words. They had been going back and forth telepathically for days now, it felt right. Seeing Erik completely defenseless and willing, was something Charles couldn’t have expected the first night they met. He recalled using a couple of lines about his mutation and how ‘groovy’ is was. He was mostly rambling, as he often did. That night was one of his favourite memories, mostly because of how often he could feel Erik’s own memory recalling it.  
He didn’t dare look into Erik’s mind now. They were too close to something, he wasn’t sure what, but something. 

“What did you want to be as a child?” Charles fell back on his old icebreakers from their time on the road, in which Erik would redirect each of his questions and give the least amount of information as possible. It was a challenge to figure out his real answer, a challenge that Charles was keen to winning. 

“Kind” Erik replied simply, looking out over the pond with an air of nonchalance about him.

“I believe you would be very proud of who you’ve become” Charles turned to look over at his friend, who seemed engulfed in looking anywhere but back at Charles. 

“You would be the first to say that” Erik sighed. 

“You have a world to change, Erik” Charles reached his hand to touch Erik’s shoulder gently. 

Erik nodded, as Charles had before, not fully taking in the weight of his words. There weren’t a lot of constants in Erik’s life, but Charles had snuck into slowly becoming one. He didn’t know if it was possible to imagine a future without him, and if so, what would it entail? He didn’t really want to change the world, he could be content to just change his own world. And that began with Charles.   
It was now that Charles felt that pull. In only the past couple of days, Erik had become privy at reaching out to his mind. Something only Raven had known previously, and something that had taken her years to learn fully. He didn’t dare mention this to her, for fear of whatever her wrath may be. Erik felt the twisting and spiraling of a faint fondness poking it’s way into his head. Per usual, he let it in almost immediately.   
Erik’s mind was filled with gratuitous longing, something that Charles had picked up on previously, but hadn’t looked much further into. Yes, he knew about the less savory things Erik thought of. Erik wasn’t one to care much about sex, and Charles had chalked it up to intrusive thoughts, though they were often enough to be much more voluntary. He had never been in his mind when Erik thought through one of these odd fantasies. A shudder ran through him as he realized that if he stayed in Erik’s mind long enough now, he might just witness one in it’s entirety.  
That thought didn’t scare him in the slightest. Charles had ease-dropped on much worse, and Erik was completely comfortable with Charles seeing every corner of his mind. Instead, the thought was slightly invigorating, something new. 

“Erik, can I try something?” Charles moves on the bench so that his whole body was facing Erik completely. 

Erik nodded complacently, now turning his full attention to Charles. 

“I would like a definite yes or no” Charles chuckled lightly. 

“Yes” Erik’s haze of tender warmth of Charles’ telepathy flowing through his mind made the word come out a bit sloppy and slurred, but he meant it, and that’s what Charles had insisted. 

Charles leaned forward on the bench, moving his hand from Erik’s shoulder to cup his cheek. Their eyes were locked as Charles inched closer, allowing Erik the time to pull back. In a small and swift movement forward, Charles brought their lips together in a quick kiss. It was so quick that Erik’s eyes hardly had time to flutter closed. He lost the connection of Charles in his mind, the affectionate haze had grown heavier than ever before and dissipated just as quickly as it came.   
Erik opened his eyes completely to see a calm shell-shocked looking Charles. His eyes were blown comically wide as he sat as still as physically possible on the bench, hardly breathing. Erik grabbed at the side of Charles face, mirroring what the other had done to him only a moment prior. He moved faster though, smashing their faces together almost immediately. It was messy at first, their hearts beating too quickly and hands moving too slowly. Charles hands laced themselves firmly to the sides of Erik’s face, thumbs tracing over his jawline. Erik had one hand at the base of Charles’ neck and the other stuck to the back of Charles’ sweater. The mess of it all grew into a pattern as Erik worked to deepen their kiss, mussing up Charles’ hair in the process. The small movement earned Erik that warm glow of affection in his mind, projected over from Charles’ own emotions. After what felt like a moment, though it must have been a good while later, Charles realized that he was low lying on the bench, with Erik propped up against him, one leg leaning off the side. Then came the odd feeling of buoyancy, something he had only previously experienced on small fishing boats. He pulled back rather abruptly to take in his surroundings. 

“Erik!” he screeched as Erik worked to catch his breath. 

Erik’s eyes snapped open immediately as he scanned Charles’ face, making sure the other wasn’t hurt. Finding nothing there, he turned to look back to the pond, and felt it almost immediately. He had only done this twice before, and both times rocky at best. What an emotional high he must be at. The bench was raised up in the air, floating at least a couple of meters off the ground. Erik smiled, beginning to laugh as he realized it. Charles let out a small, contented, sigh under him. The bench lowered itself as Erik’s head fell on Charles’ chest, still riddled with the small bought of laughter. 

“My bad” he smiled into another kiss, pulling away immediately to get up off the, now wobbly, bench. 

“That is your bad, you ripped out all the grass” Charles jumped up, motioning at the ruined shrubbery surrounding the bench, a false irritation in his voice. 

Erik only smiled, lightly pleased with the reaction. Charles fussed with his hair, trying to straighten himself up, before motioning back towards the mansion. Erik was still riding high on Charles' lingering warmth in his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope y'all are enjoying this, because i think it's a nice little romp. there's not much crossover between the chapters, mostly because I'm not too good with infusing angst or other characters, but i hope this is good so far. i love any and all comments, even if it's critisism, feedback is really beneficially. 
> 
> thank you for reading!


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